The Wit And Wisdom Of Clay Helton

Here is Clay Helton this afternoon at Pac-12 media day talking about expectatations at USC:

“You can have an undefeated regular season and not win a championship game and everyone’s mad. That’s (how you know you are) at a special place.”

Helton makes USC sound like such a tough place to coach. It’s really not a hard place in a mediocre conference. And a lot of the fans are not coming to games to boo anymore.

46 thoughts on “The Wit And Wisdom Of Clay Helton

    1. College Football Programs With The Most 5 Star Signees Over The Last 10 Years

      1. Alabama

      2. Georgia

      3. Ohio St.

      4. Clemson

      5. USC

      USC has over twice as many 5 star recruits as Oregon during that same period.

      And Clay Helton still managed to finish 5 – 7 ( 4 – 5 Conf. ) just 2 years ago.

      The one thing Clay Helton is good at is wasting talent.

      Read it for yourself…


  1. Clay, you’re so full of S-H-I-T. You were 9 points away from being 2-4 against a weak schedule. You should have been fired after 2018. No other Power 5 school will ever hire you again as a head coach. Invest those fat paychecks wisely.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Liked by 4 people

    1. Good news, thanks for that refreshing tweet Pudly. This guy wants results, not parity to hide some gravy training like Larry Scott did. USC should of threatened to go independent when he wasn’t able to close the deal with OU and Texas the last time realignment was discussed in 2016 CFA. He was only worried about the Pac 12 having its own network so he could line his pockets.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. And line them (his pockets) he did. But like that Seinfeld episode when the valet with BO (owns) left his “mark”, it will take some doin to undo what he set upon us.

        Liked by 3 people

    2. The Pac-12 finally has a sports capitalist for a commissioner instead of a sports socialists who just wants to make sure every school gets a participation trophy.

      Liked by 1 person

    3. LOL!

      Did pudly pudwacker expect the guy to say anything different?

      When this latest clown Stewart Mandel turns out to be another incompetent fool and picks up right where Scott left off, pudly pudwacker will try and say he never hyped the clown.

      pudly pudwacker has the kiss of death, everytime he hypes a player or coach or team while tweeting about them, they tank. Every player that pudwacker has hyped as the greatest thing since sliced bread has turned out to be a bust.




  3. Huh Wtf are you talking about clueless Clay? You should of been fired right after that 24-7 embarrassment to Ohio st. In the cotton Bowl.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. More worried about kissing the powers that may be’s asses. Instead of worrying about winning or losing games. As long as he’s in the good ol boys club and gnome Folts good graces; that’s all that matters to 9-lives Clay. It’s been working for him all these years. Why should we expect anything different.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Clay Helton is a bozo. The only person I was really impressed with at the Pac-12 Conference Football Kickoff today was the Oregon AD. The conference is going to be a dog fight this year, and I just saying watch out for UCLA they have an experienced QB coming back. We shall see when they play LSU.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. There is a reason why Vegas expects westwood to have yet another losing record this season. Because their talent is second/third tier, and their coaching is worse than that.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Above should be paired with Pudly’s F’ucla…


  6. I like the Seinfeld “He took it out” episode. Jerry sets up Elaine on a blind date with Jerry’s friend Phil(Think Dear Pisley.). Phil has no experience with women so he wips it out when parked in front of Elaine’s Apt. bldg.

    Elaine knows this not by sight, but because Phil tells her his lady bug is out.

    The exchange between Elaine, Jerry and Kramer next day is hilarious.

    Phil(Think Dear Pisley.), what a pathetic goober.

    #So Kooooooool Pisley


      1. Mud just refuses to acknowledge the fact that sow would publish such a pic. Word is that they told him to pretend he was leading his teammates out against LSU…


  7. Helton likes to pass out game balls to people with contract extending powers. The fan base would like to cut off his balls

    passing out ways.
    It is unfair to waste another season on the possibility of Helton serving up a well coached game. He constantly gets gamed by coaches USC would not ordinarily look at.
    The thing about game balls is they sit around and rot. Eventually they go flat and lose their charm. By now those game owners of Helton’s balls think they’re pretty flat. (Sorry I’m having trouble with


    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yeah —I’ve had the test (got trapped taking it cuz I had to accompany a neighbor to the emergency room). Now I hear that the test itself actually has screwed up some people’s sinuses (not mine). Can’t imagine taking the damn thing several dozen times.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Wonder why they declined a bowl bid where they’d be tested at the same rate for another month… don’t let reality enter into the conversation.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Actually it was probably Helton who didn’t want to submit his nostrils to one more test for the Holidays….

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I’ve had 7 Covid tests myself with all my trips to the hospital ER and for surgeries. They are not good on the nostrils. I cringe every time I get one. I had to call my Dr. because I was coughing blood on the way home after one of the tests, prior to one of my surgeries. He said, “it does happen occasionally with certain patients.” 162 times is freaking ridiculous for anyone athlete or not!


  8. What undefeated “regular season” is he referring to? 5 games constitutes a “regular season”? That’s like saying 5 inches is a big dick… Is numbnuts suggesting that playing a 5 game season should be considered the same as playing a 10/11 game season? How bout 1 game Clay? Is that a season, not an exhibition? I guess a guy who discounts and disavows the physical aspects of football, completely ignoring how men and boys are separated the more games a team plays and over the course of a real season (and a big reason 10 or more games became what’s known as a season) shouldn’t suprise me. That donkey is a third rate bozo in a second rate shit show who wants full credit for partial effort. 5 inches for 5 minutes doesn’t earn you an AVN award, it only gets ya a mad wife… Damn, if I had 2 wishes granted, the first wish would be that the hillbilly could read. (My second wish would have something to do with him finding a sports bra that keeps his titties from jiggling every time he starts prancing cause we recovered an onside kick against Northwest Provincial College.) But if he could read I wish he’d read this along with all the other well wishes provided on this site.
    Dear Clay:
    1. Without a comprehensive post-season, there is no “regular season”… Appetizers eaten alone that aren’t followed by a steak, etc dinner aren’t considered appetizers, they’re called fuckin snacks. Its not the regular season, it’s just a season, period.
    2. Playing 5 football games does not, has not, nor will not be considered a complete season. Sympathizers who say the lack of a real, full bill schedule was out of your control would be right. Covad took away the “regular” season. You only took away the bowl season when you declared your team incapable of playing because you were minus your fair haired & frail QB. Seems strange given the fact your always pumping your own tires about how well you develop & prep the entire roster. I would think that a “QB coach by trade” who once had every recruiting advantage available to him might somehow have a backup raring to go, but hell, what do I know? Just makes me wonder how every other NCAA team manages without having had a Slovis of their own.
    3. You think fans are mad at ya? They’re not mad at ya, they just don’t like ya.


  9. Helton is out of his league. We mostly agree that he is as bad as Hackett. The problem is, how do we get rid of him and how do we get a coach that has the experience to handle SC and how to win. There aren’t too many coaches like that. Folt and Bohn WILL hire the wrong coach. If i could, I think I would take a chance on the coach from Minnesota or Iowa St. But I am sure there are even better coaches that are out there that I am not aware of.

    Michael, can we start a class action law suit against, USC, Folt, John, and Helton for breach of contract with not performing or showing excellence as described in it’s preaching on how great USC and for it’s history of being excellent on the field? Another year of doldrum, boring play, and the confusion on the sideline will only piss me off even more.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I share your concerns about finding our next coach. Hiring THE right coach would be a tall task for a minimally competent admin. Its winning-the-lottery odds for Folt, Bohn, etc. getting it right. I like Campbell, wouldn’t be opposed, but I think USC needs to refresh their thinking about what todays recruits truly value before establishing criteria, ranking any candidates, etc. Pom poms & fight songs don’t mean as much to digital kids. They’ve been desensitized to hoopla by the time they’re 10. The history we’re selling ’em may register, but it won’t sway ’em. Any coach hired better have more on the resume than an ability to get kids pumped before the big game. My very humble opinion? USC has to retrench & rebrand itself as a football factory who develops NFL talent, at all positions, at an unparalleled rate. Look no further than the training & dev programs Alabama & LSU have put in place. Structured, tested, & proven player dev that’s directly led to $_x_ dollars earned by drafted professionals. Putting that kinda system in place prob means more of GM/Player Personnel background who’s better at building an football organization and delegating the coaching, training, on field aspects so they can high-level a program designed specifically to literally take a kid from his hs prom all the way to his rookie minicamp. Moreso today than ever before, recruits want assurances that whatever their pro potential happens to be, or that they believe it to be, it won’t waste away, stagnate, or go unimproved at whichever 3/4 year training program they pick. Pitching Victory Bells and Golden Shillelagh’s while our drafted player numbers went to shit is why we are where we are… a college football afterthought. We should mimic how NFLs Dan Campbell, Urban Meyer, Sean Peyton, Bruce Arians have set their organization. Less rah-rah, more data, more detail. Anyway my two cents


  10. We all have to admit that Clay is a smart guy as we don’t have a 4 million dollar contract with zero performance.


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