Today is Lynn Swann’s birthday. Let’s imagine how he might spend his dream day.
- Early round of golf.
- Lunch at Wilshire Country Club (no autographs).
- Late round of golf.
- Offend USC fans with statement proclaiming he knows better than you.
- Ignore interview requests from media.
- Wait for phone call from former teammates wishing him happy birthday (crickets chirping).
- Move season tickets of more long-time fans.
- Offend donors for no reason.
- Practice at golf simulator at Heritage Hall.
- Congratulate Clay Helton on another year on job during football practice (no autographs).
- Call Andy Enfield in Utah and pretend he will lead team to NCAA Tournament.
- Watch baseball team lose to Grand Canyon or LMU at Dedeaux Field (no autographs).
- Call Steelers great Franco Harris, who also celebrates his birthday today (no answer).
- Congratulate self for successful football, basketball and baseball teams.
- Pick up pay check for job well done.